Paper View

After weeks of agonizing over the birth certificate conundrum, I finally FedExed two of my requirements for the marriage license and wedding banns last monday with his birthday present (H is an April Fool).

Just to tally, there are four documents required from me, according to the mairie (city hall) in Paris and Lot:

1. An accomplished questionnaire (filled it out hours before I went back to Manila)
2. CENOMAR or Certificate of No Marriage from the NSO, also known as the Affidavit of Marital Status, no more than 6 months old - Malacañang and DFA authanticated
3. Birth Certificate from the Local Civil Registrar, NOT a photocopy of hospital birth certificate and no more than 6 months old - Malacañang and DFA authanticated
4. Certificat de Coutume from the Philippine Embassy in France

             *All pages must have official translations


Looks pretty easy, and the certificates should only be 6 months old by the time we get married so I thought I should wait until May. But after ticking off the marriage visa requirements I realized I needed the wedding banns for the visa so I had to process the papers much earlier.

The Cenomar was the easiest to get. I paid P430 through Metrobank to have it delivered at work. I got it 6 days later.

My original plan was to go to the NSO serbilis center on my lunch break but that place was PURE HELL at 12nn. The industrial fans did nothing more than to pump the garage they call an office with more hot, polluted air. And with 600 people in line before me I wasn't sure I was going to make it out alive. So I paid double for Teleserv, the courier service. The nice thing I realized that day was if you talked to grumpy government employees with a smile they can't help but smile back :)

The BC situation was complicated. When H and I went to the mairie with stoopid grins on our faces, the woman at the family affairs department showed us the papers I needed to provide. The one thing I noticed was that the birth certificate was nothing like my NSO birth cert. She said it should come from city hall, typewritten and not a photocopy of the hospital form. She was very specific about this.

So off I went to Manila City Hall. I asked my boss for half the day off, wore a summer shirt, brought a thick paperback and psyched myself up for the long wait, but I was done in less than an hour. I just filled up a form, waited in the air-conditioned room for ten minutes, answered a few questions about why I need the certificate and paid P30 at the accounting office on the other side of the building. Then I was told I could pick it up at 1pm the next day. When I came back the next day, I got something that looked like this:

It's A PHOTOCOPY. Stamped with the words "certified XEROX COPY." I almost lost it. All that trouble for a piece of paper I could have ordered by phone from the NSO all along? This cannot be!!! 

I asked about 3 city hall employees about the typewritten birth certificate and no one knew what I was talking about. They said there was only one kind of birth certificate and it was the paper I was waving around. Afraid and confused, I left city hall trying to figure out where the hell I was supposed to get the prescribed birth certificate. I got no answers anywhere.  A google search confirmed that the city hall and NSO birth certificates are indeed different, but that the NSO copy is more recognized and accepted in the Philippines. But that doesn't help me any, does it? To make things worse, I was supposed to go to Malacanang and the DFA after - that means 2 more weeks if I was unlucky enough to be a casualty of the long weekend ahead.

So after a conversation with H on Skype that ended up in tears (I don't know how it spiraled into that but it did), I consulted the French Consul (whom I erroneously addressed as "Sir") and she said the NSO BC is ok, and they could authenticate it after the DFA for P1,200. 

I kind of looked like this after I read the e-mail:

 

image from here

But then maybe I don't need it. I crossed my fingers, prayed hard and formulated plans A and B. I made some phone calls at 3am and then went to work on plan A: Take the city hall Xerox to the NSO and have it DFA authenticated. Plan B was to get an NSO BC just in case, have it authenticated too and send both with the CENOMAR to France. Not an easy feat since I had a very busy week, deadlines breathing down my neck, and friends wondering why I seem so antisocial lately BUT I managed.

I went to the office at 8:30am, made some phone calls and confirmed what I read on the internet - I didn’t have to go to malacanang as a step to get the red ribbon from the DFA – they eliminated that step 2 or 3 years ago. Great! I went to the NSO around 9am, the line was quick and everything was over in 30 minutes. I gave them the city hall birth certificate for authentication and made a request for the NSO BC for plan B. Then THEY TOLD ME I COULD GET BOTH AT 1pm. Huzzah!

So I went back to the office, acted busy, and then went back to NSO at 1pm. I got my new BC in yellow SECPA, and they gave me the city hall BC back stapled with a photocopy of the birth certificate ALSO IN SECPA! That is "authentication?" WHAT THE HELL? All this trouble for that piece of paper when I had it all along. Well, at least it’s new in case they checked for validity. 

Ok, now I had all the papers I needed, plus an extra birth certificate, I was heading back to the office WHEN I HAD A BETTER IDEA. I took to the MRT and started for the new DFA office even though I didn’t know how... By some miracle I got to the DFA in an hour, there was an earthquake but I didn't even notice. I only found out when I saw GMA Flash Report on the bus. I'd NEVER felt any of the 4 earthquakes of my lifetime. Never.  But I digress... (as always...)

This is what the whole fuss is about - the DFA red ribbons (H calls them "ribbans", how cute is that?)

To get DFA authentication, I paid P200 for rush processing. I was supposed to get it the next day but I had a shoot so I paid for delivery and I got the CENOMAR and BC with DFA ribbons the following Monday, and had them FedExed that same morning. FedEx is P400 more expensive than JRS (via UPS) but I went with them because the latter was operating on Pinoy Time - the woman at the counter said they can deliver in 4-5 days but because of Holy Week the package will possibly-maybe get to France next week. Ha? The feds delivered in 3 days :)

The  Certificat de Coutume is quite easy to get, we just need to e-mail the following to the Philippine embassy and pay 25 euros:

1. scanned passports - his and hers
2. scanned id pictures - his and hers

He will handle this next week and we'll get it in 5 days. Et voila! I hope...

Ring Ma Belle

It's settled! After debating for an hour on the phone and Googlechat: We have rings! 

Not matching rings, sadly, and I think I got hoodwinked into getting the design he liked (well, I did ask him for his opinion kasi he's the one who can see and hold the actual rings)... But in the course of the conversation I got him to promise to give me a new ring every ten years. Of course, he is allowed to give me sparkly stuff in between :)

Image comes from here

I liked a cheaper, daintier ring but H liked this platinum half-eternity the most because the stones look more like the one on the engagement ring. Even though it was not my first choice I absolutely love, love, LOOOOVVVE this ring now. I can't wait for it to meet my finger! Just scared of going to Quiapo with this thing on. Yikes.

Ring Tones

I had no idea choosing a wedding ring could be so stressful!

I gave him the freedom to choose any ring for me because I can't go to Paris to pick one out with him, but last Sunday he went to look for rings and came back with a long list of questions I don't have an answer to because: a) I don't wear rings, b) I wouldn't know how to pick one, c) if this were LOTR I'd be Sam Gamgee. My only request was to find a two-toned number so it can match his yellow gold band and match my white gold engagement ring.

So 2 days later he's beginning to get all stressed out and we both start raising our tones on the phone and then I laugh at how he gets so tense over the width, color, stone settings and how they would match the engagement ring while I'm out here just hanging loose. And then he got hung up on why I was laughing and then I got angry and then he started laughing and the arguments got turned around.

Well, that lasted about 5 minutes after me telling him off and him apologizing, and me admitting I don't know what a millimeter is and him gloating. All I could promise him was I was going to do my ring research tonight, pick a ring from the maison de l'alliance website and give him some peace of mind... even though picking out a ring was supposed to be his job in the first place (see paragraph 1) and mine was looking pretty. Meheh.

So here's the best advice I could find, from Gillett's Jewellers. Very easy to understand for ring idiots like me who want to wear the wedding ring with the engagement ring but can't decide what to get.

A summary:

Look at the engagement ring and decide if you need a curved ring (it curves around the stone setting on the e-ring) or a straight ring (doesn't curve).

 This is a curved wedding ring, it wraps around the diamond setting so you can wear the two rings on one finger. Picture comes from here.

When choosing the band style, check if the e-ring is high-domed, soft-rounded or flat (I actually sent H a picture of my ring to show the seller so she can recommend something that matches) and find a wedding ring that is similarly shaped so they complement each other... just like you and your impatient, hypersensitive, highly-squishy fiance complement each other.

 This is a straight, high-domed band. It complements the e-ring because it doesn't have unusually high demands, and knows the answer to the question "do I look fat in this." Picture comes from here

A platinum ring is forever... but given my penchant for losing things, better not get that. Since my e-ring is white gold, it would go best with a wedding ring of white gold. That narrows down the selection process even more.

Here's my ring for reference:

only a few months old and already grimy :(

So, if I followed the ring guide and considered my e-ring, I should get one that is

1) flat and straight
2) of white gold
3) thin, because my fat fingers need all the help they could get

Let's see what happens

Dress for Distress

Last Saturday was the first of (hopefully just) 2 days of designer go-sees. I was not ready to get my heart broken, but broken it sure got.

The whole exercise is exciting but painful for me because although I cannot wait to be with H, I CANNOT AFFORD to get married right now. Being Mrs. H means quitting my job and right now I have negative savings. The reality check feels like a vintage Bella Flores bitchslap, the kind she reserves for a tiny Gina Alajar or a demersal Ate Vi. Most of all, it reminds me of my biggest loss, bigger than all the money we forked over to the hospitals and the drug stores and the doctors. Just the other day I started missing how he would call me up at work to tell me what's for dinner, and I'd be embarrassed because sometimes I'm not at my desk and he asks a co-worker to write it down and leave the note on my keyboard.

M, tumawag ang tatay mo.
Umuwi ka na daw. 

Nilaga daw ang ang ulam.

I'm the only 30-year old whose father does that. Or used to... And my eyes are tearing up just thinking about it again. Bwaahhh. Enough!

Being a tomboy I don't get too attached to dresses, especially those I can't afford - a wedding dress is different of course, but I was so sure my being practical would rule off anyone who could not design within my budget. A few weeks ago I scoffed at the idea of a P2o,ooo wedding dress but  last Sunday I found myself crying over a much, much more expensive one.

Perfect dress's High Profile Designer understod what I wanted, made adjustments to lower the price tag, and is an over-all super nice person to boot. Alas, the HPD's design is still out of my reach. He is still on top of the list, but unless a miracle happens (as in we find a way to shave off a little more from the price) then he will remain a dream...

Lady Designer has a very interesting take on the dress, but since she didn't show me a complete sketch, I am not very sure about the design. Her idea for detachable skirt and sleeves is genius, but after seeing a gown with detachable sleeves on the net, I'm afraid it would look like it's a totally separate sleeve that's worn on the arms.

I actually found something like that in Kultura, they call it the Imelda. When I tried it on you could really see where the strap ends and the sleeve begins. But I trust she will do a better job than that. She's a classy lady.

Last Tuesday I went to two more designers, didn't like the vibe of Celeb Designer but really liked Ate Shawee's Movie Wedding Designer just because he seems like the person who would bend over backwards to give you the dress you want and can afford... he had the novel idea of an all piña dress including the poufy skirt, and it's going to be a curious dress for sure (for the French, at least) but I don't know when he will get back to me on the cost. I envision it to be a pretty cool dress though, if it were to be borned.

But more than being a mini wannabe diva rant, this post is also about my wedding heroes, the Dwarves.

In college, me and six other outcasts formed The Seven Dwarfs, and we hid out at the science building to study. More them than me, actually. The nerds. I spent my free time daydreaming. After meeting up 2 weeks ago they have each tried to help me get a dress, find a venue and just generally helped me prepare. I would be lost without them. In fact, one of them is to blame for my dress distress - Girly, super thanks for getting me appointments and coming with me to see the designers! I hate you a little for that but I love you a big giant lot!

(here we are, trying on bridesmaids' gowns! oh glee!)