The whole exercise is exciting but painful for me because although I cannot wait to be with H, I CANNOT AFFORD to get married right now. Being Mrs. H means quitting my job and right now I have negative savings. The reality check feels like a vintage Bella Flores bitchslap, the kind she reserves for a tiny Gina Alajar or a demersal Ate Vi. Most of all, it reminds me of my biggest loss, bigger than all the money we forked over to the hospitals and the drug stores and the doctors. Just the other day I started missing how he would call me up at work to tell me what's for dinner, and I'd be embarrassed because sometimes I'm not at my desk and he asks a co-worker to write it down and leave the note on my keyboard.
M, tumawag ang tatay mo.
Umuwi ka na daw.
Umuwi ka na daw.
Nilaga daw ang ang ulam.
Being a tomboy I don't get too attached to dresses, especially those I can't afford - a wedding dress is different of course, but I was so sure my being practical would rule off anyone who could not design within my budget. A few weeks ago I scoffed at the idea of a P2o,ooo wedding dress but last Sunday I found myself crying over a much, much more expensive one.
Perfect dress's High Profile Designer understod what I wanted, made adjustments to lower the price tag, and is an over-all super nice person to boot. Alas, the HPD's design is still out of my reach. He is still on top of the list, but unless a miracle happens (as in we find a way to shave off a little more from the price) then he will remain a dream...
Lady Designer has a very interesting take on the dress, but since she didn't show me a complete sketch, I am not very sure about the design. Her idea for detachable skirt and sleeves is genius, but after seeing a gown with detachable sleeves on the net, I'm afraid it would look like it's a totally separate sleeve that's worn on the arms.
I actually found something like that in Kultura, they call it the Imelda. When I tried it on you could really see where the strap ends and the sleeve begins. But I trust she will do a better job than that. She's a classy lady.
Last Tuesday I went to two more designers, didn't like the vibe of Celeb Designer but really liked Ate Shawee's Movie Wedding Designer just because he seems like the person who would bend over backwards to give you the dress you want and can afford... he had the novel idea of an all piña dress including the poufy skirt, and it's going to be a curious dress for sure (for the French, at least) but I don't know when he will get back to me on the cost. I envision it to be a pretty cool dress though, if it were to be borned.
But more than being a mini wannabe diva rant, this post is also about my wedding heroes, the Dwarves.
In college, me and six other outcasts formed The Seven Dwarfs, and we hid out at the science building to study. More them than me, actually. The nerds. I spent my free time daydreaming. After meeting up 2 weeks ago they have each tried to help me get a dress, find a venue and just generally helped me prepare. I would be lost without them. In fact, one of them is to blame for my dress distress - Girly, super thanks for getting me appointments and coming with me to see the designers! I hate you a little for that but I love you a big giant lot!
(here we are, trying on bridesmaids' gowns! oh glee!)
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