The Roomies

Along with H, our flat has always had one other occupant who quietly sat through all the cordial aperatifs, loud bingers, playstation and xbox marathons, breakups and make-ups with girlfriends past, all the ups and downs and even some middles; the one true witness of who my husband truly is when freed from the torment of company and believes himself alone, far from the madding crowd, the one who probably knows him more than friends, family, or even me.

Sadly, he never got an invitation to the wedding. It was decided he had to stay in Paris because he would be hard to care for. Honestly though, I don't think he even knows what he missed. Or that he now has to share the apartment with me too.

Lulu, le tortue. Very snappish.

Meet Lulu. There is a video feature on him and H on Youtube, and aired in some foreign cable channel. H's friends tease him about how Lulu's aquarium looks suspiciously clean in the video. Despite letting Lulu "swim in his own shit" (friend's words, not mine) until he remembers to clean the aquarium though, H really cares for Lulu. He lets him eat sausage sometimes even though it makes oily stanky turtle poo, and dreams of releasing him in some turtle's paradise sometime in the future. The very distant future, because I don't think he's ready to let go of the turtle yet :)

I floated the idea of taking Lulu with us to India, to see the world!, but I think he senses what I plan to do so he rejects all my travel arrangement suggestions. He wants to keep Lulu "in the family" by stashing the poor reptile in a pond his mother's garden.

But now the turtle is getting too big for the house. New guests are startled by the mysterious sounds coming from the kitchen, thinking we have a rat, a loose pipe, or a poltergeist - but even more fascinated when they see this big turtle. More than anything though, I would like for Lulu to have a love life before he's too old to care. I think he has the right, just like Mr. Hoppy in Esio Trot.

Today we went to the pet store to buy Lulu's food - which I revealed to him last January to be the reason for the turtle's abnormal size - they are growth pellets. Still, they are his favorite, so off we went. 

Release the Kraken!
The exotic pet store had such cute widduw reptiles! 

 It's not easy being green. But tiger stripes on a frog are badass!

Froggy spa. Mignon!

Baby turtles just waiting to be snatched up and cared for...

or thrown into the Seine by sadistic children. Maybe. Who knows.

 In Hindu mythology, the turtle Kurma carries the earth on it's back. 
In some versions this turtle is Vishnu himself. 

To the Native Americans, the world sits on the back of a turtle.

This tiny turtle is in training.

In Vietnamese legend, a sacred turtle bears on its back a carving of the story of creation.
At the ancient university of Van Mieu (picture from 2007 trip) they bear a roster of names.
In a few years Lulu could be this big. If he stays I must train him to carry me.

 This turtle is a Pokemon in training. Imagine flames coming out of that mouth!

 Some reptiles are risky to take care of.

Especially this suspicious-looking character.

But guess what attracted my husband's attention:

A list of prices for the new line of giant turtle tanks. He's never gonna give him up!